每個人對愛情都有不同的解讀，只有經歷過的人才能懂，所以感覺也是不同的。但沒經歷過的人可能會疑惑，愛情是什么樣的感覺呢？那么,下面這位演講家對愛情是如何解讀的呢?讓我們一起來看看楊達拉利奧在ted的關于愛情的演講稿吧,可能會對大家都很有幫助哦。

中文：

愛情是什么?它是一個很難定義的詞匯,因為它有極為廣泛的應用。我可以喜愛慢跑,我可以愛一本書、一部電影,我可以愛吃肉排,我可以愛我的妻子。

但這愛存在著龐大的區別,比如說,我對肉排之愛與對我妻子的愛,便有顯著不同。也就是說,如果我珍視肉排的話,肉排,相反地,卻不會珍視我。然而我的妻子呢,她喚我為她生命中的星星。

因此,只有一種他人的欲望意識才能夠將我視為一個得以被欲望的個體。我知道這一點,這就是為什么我們可以更準確地把愛情定義為“被欲望中的欲望”。于是,這關于愛的永恒難題即為:如何使自己被欲望?如何使自己持續地被欲望?

過去,一個個體往往透過將自己的生命交由群體規范來尋求這問題的解答。你可以根據你的性別、年齡,和社會地位,來扮演某種特定角色。而且你只需要扮演好那角色即可獲得整個社群的愛與重視。想想那個必須在婚前保持貞潔的年輕女子,想想那個必須服從長子的那最小兒子,而那長子又必須服從家族長輩。

但一種始于13世紀,主要是在西方文藝復興時期的現象造成了人類歷史上最嚴重的身份危機。這現象就是現代性。我們基本上可以通過三種過程來總結它:首先是,一個理性化的科學研究過程,它加快了科技的進步。接著,一個政治的民主化進程促進了個人的權利。最后出現的是經濟生產與貿易自由化的理性進程。

這三個相互交織的過程完全推倒了西方社會的所有傳統根基,并對個人生活造成巨變。現在,個人可以自由地珍愛或蔑視任何態度、任何選擇、任何事物;但結果是,他們自己同樣也面對了他人的自由,他人用來珍視或貶低他們的自由。換句話說,這曾經透過將自己提交給傳統權威而確保了的自我價值現在卻被投諸于股票交易所,任人估量。

在個人欲望的自由市場中,我每天都在商議我的個體價值。因此,這造成了當代人的焦慮。他/她總是癡迷于:“我是否可欲?如何可欲?有多少人會愛我?”他/她得如何回應這種焦慮呢?嗯,通過歇斯底里地收集可欲的象征。

我把這種與他人一塊兒的收集性的行為稱作“誘惑資本”。事實上,我們的消費社會很大程度上是建基于誘惑資本之上的。關于這種消費性質,有人聲稱我們的時代是唯物主義的。但這不是真的!我們收藏事物,僅僅只是為了與其他心靈交流!我們這么做,是為了使他們喜歡我們,是為了引誘他人!沒有什么還要比讓一個青少年買新牛仔褲然后撕到膝蓋邊更要非物質主義,或更令人感傷了,因為他想要博得珍妮佛的青睞。消費主義不是物質主義。它卻是那些以愛神之名犧牲了的或生吞活剝了的一切,或者,不如說是,以誘惑資本的名義。

根據這種對于當代愛情的觀察,我們該如何思考未來的愛情呢?我們可以想象兩種假設:第一個是由賭注組成的,這賭注將加深自戀的資本化過程。很難說這深化過程會采取怎樣的形式,因為它很大程度上取決于社會與科技的創新,這是難以預測的。但我們仍然可以試著想象一種約會網站,一種有點類似績點獎勵促銷的方案,使用誘惑資本點數,這點數會根據我的某些特質而變化,比如年齡、身高體重比例、學歷、薪水、或我網上檔案的點擊量。我們也可以想象一種對于分手的化學治療療程,這種療程可以緩解戀愛情愫。

此外順帶一提,現在在MTV上已經有了一種類似的節目了,在那節目中,誘惑教師將心痛視為一種疾病來治療。這些教師自稱“把妹達人(pick-upartists)”。“(Artist)藝術家”在法語中意味著“表演藝術家(artiste)”。“Pick-up”意指是勾搭但不是隨便勾搭——必須勾搭最靚的。所以他們都是勾搭靚妹的表演藝術家。(笑聲)他們稱心痛為“真命天女癥(one-itis)”,在英語中,“itis”是“(infection)感染”的字尾,我們可以把one-itis譯為“被那一人感染”。它是有點惡心啦。事實上,對那些“把妹達人”來說,愛上一個人是在浪費時間,它浪費你的誘惑資本。因此,它必須被根治,就像一種疾病,彷佛發炎一般。我們還可以設想一種擁有浪漫用途的基因組。每個人都會到處拿著它,就像一張名片一樣到處發,來查明是否誘惑可以進階到繁殖。

當然,這場誘惑的競賽,如同每項激烈賽事,將創造出關于自戀滿意度的巨大不平等,于是它也會產生許多孤單與失落。因此,我們可以預想的是,現代性本身這個誘惑資本的來源,會被許多人質疑。我想到的某種特別的反應,即為新法西斯主義社群或宗教社群。但我們并不一定要擁有這種未來。

我們可以思索另一種關于愛情的可能性路徑。但如何思索呢?如何放棄進行歇斯底里地估價的需要?嗯,這個嘛,意識到我自己的一無是處,即可。是的,一無是處,我很沒用。但請放心:你們也是。

我們都是沒用的。這種無用性是很容易證明的,因為,為了要尋求珍視,我需要另一半來欲望我,這顯示了,我自身其實并不具有任何價值。我沒有任何固有的價值。我們都假裝有偶像;我們都假裝自己是別人的偶像,但實際上我們個個都是濫竽充數之人,有點像街上的路人,他們全都表現出冷漠的樣子,雖然他實際上已預期,并且算計出所有的目光都會朝向他。

我覺得,越來越意識到這種一般的冒用性,這樣的憂慮就得以緩解我們的戀愛關系。因為,我想要從頭到腳地被愛,捍衛我每一個選擇,那誘惑的歇斯底里存在著。因此,我想要看起來完美,以讓他人可以愛我。我希望他們能夠完美,這樣我就可以確定我的價值。它會導致情人們沉迷于績效,誰會像以前那樣以績效不好的結果分手呢。

相對于這種態度,我呼吁,用溫柔——溫柔的愛。什么是溫柔?溫柔意謂著去接受你愛人的弱點。它非關成為某種悲涼的伴侶照護者喲。它沒那么糟。相反地,在溫柔中,存在著許多魅力和幸福。我特別想到一種幽默,這種幽默,很不幸地,尚未得到充分利用。它是一種蓄意的尷尬詩歌。

我指的是自嘲。對于那些由傳統約束的、無以為繼的伴侶們,我相信自嘲是得以忍受彼此關系的最佳途徑之一。

譯文:

What is love? It is a word that is difficult to define, because it has the extremely widespread application. I can love jogging, I can love a book, a movie, I can love to eat steak, I can love my wife.

But this love is a huge difference, for example, I love the steak with love to my wife, there is significant different. That is to say, if I cherish chops, steak, on the contrary, do not cherish me. However, my wife, she calls for her star in my life.

Therefore, only a sense of other people's desire to see me as a desire to be individual. I know this, that's why we can love more accurately defined as "desire of desire". So the eternal difficult problem about love is: how to make myself be desire? How to make oneself are continually desire?

In the past, an individual often through their lives to the group norms to seek the answer of the question. You can according to your gender, age, and social status, to play a certain role. And you only need to play that role for the whole community of love and attention. Consider that must maintain a virtuous young woman before marriage, think about that must obey the eldest son of the youngest son, and the eldest son must obey family elders.

But a kind of from the 13th century, mainly in the western Renaissance phenomenon caused by one of the most serious identity crisis in human history. This phenomenon is the modernity. We basically can be summarized by three processes: it is first and foremost, a rational scientific research process, it accelerated the progress of science and technology. Then, a political democratization process to promote the rights of individuals. Finally is the production and the rational process of trade liberalization.

The process of the three intertwined over all the traditional foundation of the western society, and cause changes to the personal life. Now, people are free to cherish or despise any manner, any choice, any things; But as a result, they are also faced with the freedom of others, others to cherish or belittle their freedom. In other words, it was through their submitted to traditional authority and ensures that the self value is now being cast on the stock exchange, allow to measure.

In the personal desire of the free market, I consulted my individual value every day. Therefore, this causes the modern people's anxiety. He/she always obsessed with: "how can I desire? To? How many people will love me?" How is he/she respond to this anxiety? Well, through collecting hysterically can be the symbol of desire.

I put this together with others of collection of sexual behavior is called "temptation capital". In fact, our consumer society is largely based on the temptation of capital. About the nature of consumption, someone claims that our age is materialism. But that's not true! We collect things, just in order to communicate with other heart! We do so, it is to make them like us, to entice others! There is nothing more than to let a young people to buy a new jeans and then to tear by the side of the knee more to the materialism, or more sad, because he wants to win the favour of Jennifer. Consumerism is not a materialist. It was sacrificed in the name of the goddess or all alive, or, rather, in the name of the temptation of capital.

According to this observation on contemporary love, how do we think about the future of love? We can imagine two hypotheses: the first one is composed of a bet, the bet will deepen the capitalization process of narcissism. It's hard to tell what form will be taken, the deepening process because it largely depends on the society and the innovation of science and technology, it is difficult to predict. But we can still try to imagine a dating site, a similar performance bonus promotion plan, use lure capital points, the points according to some of my qualities, such as age, height, body weight ratio, educational background, salary, or I online file. We can also imagine a for chemical treatment of break up, this course can alleviate the love feeling.

And by the way, is now in the hands of the MTV already has a similar program, in the program, heartache is regarded as a kind of disease to treat temptation to teachers. These teachers who "put's (pick - upartists)". "(Artist) Artist" in French means "performance Artist (artiste)". "Pick - up" means is up but not solicit - have to hook up with the most beautiful. So they are carrying jing younger sister performing artists. (laughter.) they called heartache "destiny's child syndrome (one - itis)", in English, "itis" is a word "(infection) infection", we can put one - itis translated as "infection" by the people. It is just a little bit sick. In fact, for those who "the younger sister's got talent", fall in love with a person is a waste of time, it is a waste of your capital. Therefore, it must be cured, is like a disease, like inflammation. We can also imagine a genome with romantic purposes. Everyone can take it everywhere, just like a name card everywhere, to find out whether the temptation can be advanced to reproduction.

The temptation of competition, of course, like every fierce competition, will create a huge inequalities about narcissistic satisfaction, so it will produce many lonely and lost. Therefore, we can be expected that modernity itself the temptation of capital source, will be questioned by many people. I think of a particular reaction, that is, for the new fascism community or religious community. But we don't have to have this in the future.

We can think about another path about the possibility of love. But how do you think? How to give up hysterically valuation needs? Well, well, aware of my own nothing, only can. Yes, nothing, I am useless. But please rest assured: you, too.

We are all useless. The futility of it can be easily proved that nothing is because, in order to seek to value, I need the other half to my desire, this shows, I don't really have any value. I don't have any inherent value. We pretend to have idols; We are pretending to be idols for others, but in fact we are all of others, a bit like the passers-by in the street, they all show the appearance of indifference, although he actually have expectations, and calculated that all eyes will be on him.

I think, more and more aware of the general use, such worries are easing our relationship. Because, I want to be love from head to foot, defending my every choice, the temptation of hysteria. So, I want to look perfect, so that others may love me. I hope they can perfect, so I can determine the value of I. Addicted to performance, it can lead to lovers who would like to break up the results of the performance is not good in that way before.

Relative to this attitude, I called for, with soft, tender love. What is the tender? Tender means to accept the weaknesses of your beloved. It's not be a sad companion caregivers yo. Its not so bad. On the contrary, in the tender, there are a lot of charm and happiness. In particular, I think a sense of humor, humor, unfortunately, has not been fully taken advantage of. It is a deliberate the embarrassment of poetry.

I mean the self-mockery. For those from the traditional constraints, die couples, I believe self-mockery is one of the best ways to endure their relations with each other.